I survived the killer Kern - La Costa Mariscos

I survived the Killer Kern- La Costa Mariscos

Almost every weekend during this summer I read reports of people drowning in the Kern River.  In fact, the death toll for this summer stands at 15 souls.  I have been tubing down the Kern River almost every summer for 25 years.  And in the back of my mind is always the sign posted at the entrance to the Kern River Canyon that advises people to stay out of the River.  The sign is updated with the total # of people that have lost their lives in this river.  The total is 257 + 15 this year = 272 people.   Tubing activities are done downstream of the canyon so I don’t see the sign too often. 

My first experience on the Kern River was about 1985.  Since my babies were little, Betty took out extra life insurance on me when she learned that I was going to take kayak lessons in the river.  The first lessons were in the pool at Rio Bravo Resort and the lake at the golf course.  Learning how to roll the kayak is a key maneuver that should be mastered.  It’s one thing to roll the kayak around in the pool, and another thing to roll it in the turbulent river.  Shortly after launching the kayak in the river with my instructors, the current and waves flipped me upside down.  Holding my breath and concentrating on the roll maneuver and not making it, just to go back upside down without a breath was frightening.  Panic strikes.  Instinct kicks in.  Bail out by pulling the bladder that keeps the water out.  I finally got a breath, just to find myself washing down the turbulent river over rocks and logs, the kayak going one way, the paddle going another way.   And my instructors helping to gather the equipment and meeting me at a calm eddy to try again.  “Let’s practice that roll maneuver again, here where it’s calm”.  After multiple near drowning and frustration, I thought, “this sucks”.  Then I saw some people sitting in inner tubes, floating down the river, relaxing, laughing and drinking beer.  Now this is what I’m talking about.  That was my last kayak lesson. 

I have enjoyed each time I went inner tubing down the river.  I have taken friends, my brother and Dad, friends from work and customers.  We launch at the parking lot on Rancheria Road.  We drop one car at the Lake Ming camp ground or at Hart Park.  Yesterday, being a Holiday weekend, it was really crowded on the River.   The guy I was with had never done this before.  At the launch site, 2 large parties of young adults were gathering.  When my friend had a hard time getting in his tube and started being drawn into the willows, I thought, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.  I helped him get out to the middle of the river while giving some last minute instructions that I should have gone over with him before we were headed for the rapids. 

“You need to get your arms deeper in the water so you can get some power in your stroke”  “Paddle harder”  “Stay away from the willows”  “Not that way, paddle out here”  “\See all the white water and turbulence ahead?  Those are bid boulders.  If you get flipped, just hold on to your tube.  Forget about everything else.”  The speed of the current really picked up as we approached the rapids. The water is churning and the paddling is almost worthless at this point.  Either you positioned yourself well or you didn’t.  “Try not to go over the boulders”, I shouted and the noise of the rapids is really loud and the current is taking us in different directions.  “Paddle harder”.  “Follow me”.  “Hold on”.  “Here we go”. 

The exhilaration increases and the excitement turns to fear and doubt as I go over the submerged boulders and the 3’ high waves and turbulence.   I come out of it still on my inner tube but on a rapid pace that carries me downstream and away from my friend who just flipped over and is fighting for his life.  He has one arm over the inner tube and one hand holding his flop flop.  The other flip flop is floating away.  His hat is gone, consumed by the torrent.  “Just hold on” I shout.  “I’ll get the other shoe”. 

There is a look on one’s face after coming out of these rapids on an inner tube.  It’s one of excitement and a shit eating grin when you get through intact on the tube.  Or, it’s fear and dread when you pop up to the surface and you realize how much power the river has and how little control you actually have and how you could have just drowned. 

I back paddle as hard as I can until he catches up to me.  “WOW, wasn’t that a blast.  You made it”.  Here’s you other shoe.  Your hat is gone.  But you’re lucky you still have your glasses.  I’ve lost shoes, hats, glasses, beer and cigars back there.  My friend must have been thinking of the mountain bike ride I took him on in the Sierras last month.  He said to me, “How do you survive?”  I laughed.

“That’s the worst of rapids”, I explain.  “It’s really relaxing from here on out, except for one other place.”  The rest of the float trip was great.  And the second set of rapids was no problem.  We got out at the Lake Ming camp ground an hour later and had a couple of beers. 

After retrieving my car at the launch site parking lot, we stopped in downtown Bakersfield and had dinner at La Costa Mariscos Mexican Restaurant. La Costa has been a family favorite since it opened about 20 years ago.  The owner was a waitress at El Torito on California before she opened La Costa.  I don’t see her there any more, I think she’s retired.  It’s a great Bakersfield success story.  They specialize in Mexican seafood and other classic Mexican dishes.  The food is great.  The salsa is fresh made and chunky.  My friend and I both ordered the Campechana, Mexican seafood cocktail.  I used to drive to Ensenada to get campechana like this.  It has shrimp, octopus and scallops in a great tomato juice sauce.  My favorite dish at La Costa is the seafood that is cooked in a red chile, butter and garlic sauce (Al Ajillo).  It has shrimp, fish, scallops and octopus in it.  The margaritas are made with an agave wine.  So if I plan ahead, I bring a flask of tequila to add to it.